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	<title>Single Women Rule &#187; went out for drinks</title>
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	<link>http://www.singlewomenrule.com</link>
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		<title>Getting beyond the office romance that went wrong</title>
		<link>http://www.singlewomenrule.com/2008/12/getting-beyond-the-office-romance-that-went-wrong/</link>
		<comments>http://www.singlewomenrule.com/2008/12/getting-beyond-the-office-romance-that-went-wrong/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Dec 2008 16:29:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Terry Hernon MacDonald</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[By Terry Hernon MacDonald]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Career]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[break-up advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[man stopped showing interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[office flirtation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[office romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[went out for drinks]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.singlewomenrule.com/?p=715</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One day not long ago, a male coworker stopped at your desk and gave you a fascinatingly wry smile. He said he needed coffee. He offered to go out and get you a cup, too. And for a while, you&#8217;d log on to your computer and find he&#8217;d sent a delightfully flirtatious email. Then you [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><div id="attachment_719" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 310px"><a href="http://www.singlewomenrule.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/j04385251.jpg"><img src="http://www.singlewomenrule.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/j04385251-300x200.jpg" alt="Tell him you&#039;ll get your own coffee, thank you." title="j04385251" width="300" height="200" class="size-medium wp-image-719" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Tell him you'll get your own coffee, thank you.</p></div>One day not long ago, a male coworker stopped at your desk and gave you a fascinatingly wry smile. He said he needed coffee. He offered to go out and get you a cup, too.</p>
<p>And for a while, you&#8217;d log on to your computer and find he&#8217;d sent a delightfully flirtatious email. Then you found yourself seated next to him at a bar after work. You found yourself liking him. Why hadn&#8217;t you noticed him before?</p>
<p>You went out for dinner a couple of times. You went out for drinks a couple of more times. You thought about introducing him to your friends. You decided that your family would like him, definitely.</p>
<p>You started falling for him.</p>
<p>And then, as suddenly as the romance started, it stopped. He ceased asking you if you wanted coffee. He terminated the flirtatious emails.</p>
<p>Your mind began to spin with questions: What happened? What did you do? Can you rekindle the romance? </p>
<p>The answers are: who knows, probably nothing, and maybe.</p>
<p>For whatever reason, the man showed interest. Then he stopped showing interest. Unfortunately, men and women do this to each other all the time, and somebody gets hurt.</p>
<p>Really hurt.</p>
<p>Can you rekindle his affection? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Ask yourself if it&#8217;s even worth it. The guy played with you, and if you want him back, you might ask yourself why you want a man who treated you so cruelly.</p>
<p>Your best bet? Respond to his sudden lack of interest in kind. In other words, do not under any circumstances offer him a cup of coffee (or anything else). Do not email him. <em>Do not make excuses to walk past his desk.</em></p>
<p>Avoid him at all costs. When you do see him, keep your back straight, smile and wave, and keep moving. (And, God forbid, if you get stuck in a meeting with him, remain calm, pleasant, and professional.) Let this be your mantra: <em>Smile, wave, keep moving</em>.</p>
<p>One of two things will happen:</p>
<p>He&#8217;ll realize he&#8217;s made a mistake and start appearing at your desk again. In this case, continue to treat him coolly. Do not allow yourself to become vulnerable until you&#8217;re sure he won&#8217;t drop you like an old shoe again. Make (and keep!) plans with friends, family, and <em>other </em>men until it&#8217;s clear that he understands that you&#8217;re the greatest thing to ever cross his path.</p>
<p>The other (stronger) possibility is that you&#8217;ll get over him. It will become apparent that the poor guy isn&#8217;t even in your league. You&#8217;ll glimpse him sucking up to his boss at the water cooler, and your stomach will turn. You&#8217;ll run into him in the elevator and discover that his ears are too small for his head. You&#8217;ll wonder what the heck you were thinking.</p>
<p>In other words, you&#8217;ll move on. And it&#8217;ll be his loss.</p>
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