Today, we’re heading over to the blog Sex, Lies, and Dating in the City, published by Simone Grant.

Check out a post by me, on behalf of Terry and SingleWomenRule.com

Do you think it'd be easier with someone by your side?

SWR member and author of the blog Sex, Lies & Dating in the City, Simone Grant, writes a monthly post for SingleWomenRule.com. This month, she shares an honest perspective on her tendency to contemplate her life if she were married. Check it out, and SingleWomenRule.com’s response.

Simone Grant of Sex, Lies & Dating says:

I have a confession to make. Sometimes I play the “what if” game.

What if, back when I was in college, I didn’t go study abroad, but instead cancelled those plans because I had a boyfriend who said he loved me (and because we both knew the relationship probably wouldn’t survive my being away)?

Or what if I worked harder to make my last relationship work? What if I had more patience and faith?
What if I were married, now?

I don’t play this game when I’m lonely (loneliness isn’t a major issue for me). I play it when things are hard or scary. When I’ve spent all day on the phone with the health insurance company or the bank. Or when someone I love dies. Because that’s when it hits me: This might be easier if I didn’t have to do it all alone.

I remember saying something like that to a married friend, years ago. I was having a weird legal issue with a former employer. I was clearly in the right. It was hurtful and upsetting because I’d worked hard for them for years and they were treating me poorly. And I’d called her because I knew that a friend of hers was a labor lawyer. Anyway, as we were wrapping up the call I muttered something about how it’d be easier if I had a husband.

She reacted bizarrely. As if I’d just said that all my problems could be solved if only I had some cotton candy. Read more »

Sometimes I feel like texting, instant messaging and email are absolutely no good for dating.  I’ll admit I’ve fallen prey to the “I texted him three hours ago why hasn’t he responded monster.”  Not to mention my short bout with cyberstalking.

So I was happy when author Kimberly D. Neumann asked for my opinion on the subject for her great article on Match.com. 

Here’s a blurb from the section on social networking:

Photo: Match.com

Social networking (Facebook and Twitter)

 

No doubt “friend me” has become a part of our vernacular. But along with frequent status updates and photo tags comes a whole new wrinkle for the dating world. For example, at what point do you friend a date? Date one, date two, date three (or never)? And do you really want to know what’s going on in his or her FB world — especially if it doesn’t work out? This is a tricky one.

“Social-networking sites can breed unnecessary insecurity in relationships if you fall into the trap of trying to figure out what’s in a person’s heart by who said what on their wall,” says Keysha Whitaker, cofounder of SingleWomenRule.com. Not to mention that even if you are in a relationship, it can lead to major miscommunication!

“Of course you want to have your significant other on your ‘friends’ list, however, the site can still be an emotional minefield,” says Kirstin, 37, of New York. “When my boyfriend added a bunch of pictures of our trip to Paris together to his wall — but didn’t include any of the two of us together — I was livid! It was like he was trying to ‘play single’ online.” And another friend of Kirstin’s got in trouble with his girlfriend when a female friend posted on his wall that he could stay with her when he came to her hometown for a weekend.

Read the full article here.

Earlier this week, Single Women Rule, held our monthly meetings in New York and Connecticut. On Monday, we hung out in NYC at a cozy Mexican restaurant, and Tuesday we had pizza at a nifty pizzeria in Bridgeport.

Single Women Rule is a membership organization that gives you the opportunity to meet like-minded women who are interested in reveling in life’s magic and feeling truly fulfilled - whether the knight in shining (or newly refurbished) armor ever arrives.

On both nights, I met singfabulous women (that’s single and fabulous) who ranged in age and life experience, from never married to divorced; from business owners to those happily collecting severance pay.

Here’s some points I gathered from our lively, at times hilarious, discussions.

1) People change. What or who you valued 15 years ago is not the same today, and that’s okay. The strength comes from accepting the change and adjusting your life, to how you want it to be.

2) A marriage does not guarantee happiness.

3) Sometimes if you don’t want kids, you just know it, and can even be married 18 years and never have “the urge.”

4) It’s good to take a step back and examine who you’re attracted to and why, and be prepared to even examine the influence your culture may exert on how you date, and take the best steps for you.

5) If someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you. (*Go Bridgeport Fire Department.  - You had to be there.*)

6) If he looks like a duck, and walks like a duck. He’s a duck. Or at best, he’s a man in a duck suit, and just cut your losses early and move on.

We hope to see you next month!

Make sure you join SingleWomenRule.com, then sign up for our Meet Up Groups to know when our next meetings and events are.