Free at last!
It’s happened to a lot of us.
At some time in our lives, we fell for someone who did not fall for us. Or we fell for someone who fell for us for a month, a year, five years, and then went away. Maybe he relocated to Australia to explore the Great Barrier Reef, or maybe he just moved into a basement apartment in Brooklyn with a girl who designs wire jewelry.
And we were left utterly, shatteringly alone.
It doesn’t matter how long ago he left, every time we come across his picture, or run into a mutual friend, or hear a song that came on in the car as we rode to the beach with him, it all comes flooding back. We remember the set of his shoulders the first time he told us he loved us. We remember how he gently swabbed the sand out of our ears with the corner of his towel.
We’re happy thinking about these things, and then we start wondering where it started to go wrong. We start thinking that if we’d said this or done that, we could still be with him today. And suddenly, we’re bereft. And angry. Read more »
Tips for tossing an ex (or getting over being tossed)
By Terry Hernon MacDonald
Mend, then love again!
We’ve all been there. We’ve fallen in love with a guy who just didn’t love us back. We’ve heard a variety of exit lines: “I think it’s time we started seeing other people,” “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” or “It’s not you. It’s me.”
It’s hard to accept it when he just stops returning phone messages, but it’s even worse when he keeps calling after the break-up. Running into the object of affection in a public place is also a killer, especially if he gives mixed signals by making persistent eye contact. It doesn’t help when he sends an email every so often to see how you’re doing, either.
Instead, it makes it really easy for you to lie to yourself. You tell yourself that this person really does love you but is afraid of being hurt. The poor thing! If only you could convince him that you are a gentle soul utterly incapable of causing pain. If only you could prove your trustworthiness, your dedication. You will win him over! You will make him see! You will!
And so it goes. You become caught up in believing that a man who doesn’t love you really does, blinding yourself to opportunities to meet someone else who could truly make you happy. You cannot move on until you stop obsessing, but that’s easier said than done, right?
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