***Read and win: A pair of tickets to the Live the Life You Love event on Tuesday, Nov. 3 at SAKS in New York City goes to the first five people to read and comment.***
If you want to learn how to make a great meal for yourself when you’re low on energy and command the respect you deserve from a man, Brad Berkowitz, author of The 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood: Lessons Learned Over the Past 20 Years, and Karine Bakhoum, a luxury lifestyle and hospitality public relations expert and judge on the Food Network’s “Iron Chef America” will tell you how at the third installment of the Live the Life You Love event series at 6:30 p.m. in Saks Fifth Avenue, 611 Fifth Ave. in New York City. Tickets are $25 online, and $35 at the door. Berkowitz and Bakhoum are two of the four panelists at the event produced by Single Edition Media and Spark Networks.
“If a guy meets a girl on a Friday night and he takes her number and doesn’t call for a couple of days that’s not a good sign,” said Berkowitz. “If he calls you several days later and asks what you are doing tomorrow night, decline.”
Berkowitz said making plans at a last-minute invite is “setting the stage for a dysfunctional relationship. She should say ‘Oh I’m glad to hear from you, I would have loved to have seen you tomorrow night, but I didn’t hear from you until now and I made other plans. Perhaps we can reschedule.”
Brad Berkowitz, author of The 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood
Berkowitz, who also writes a monthly column for JDate.com, explains that Jewish singles face unique dating issues. “You’ll have different levels of religious belief, Conservative, Orthodox, Hasidic, and Reform. In the Orthodox, if you’re not married by the time you’re 26 and have five kids by 35, you’re basically shunned. It’s a very different culture and I am not being judgmental,” said Berkowitz.
“My family history is Jewish, and I wanted to marry Jewish [but] I’m not overly religious,” said Berkowitz, who met his fiancee at JDate.com ten years ago, but because of their age difference (he was nine years her senior) they didn’t pursue a romantic relationship and maintained casual contact through mutual friends. Last year, they started dating. This year, they got engaged.
The 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood is a book for both men and women: men get an explicit list of do’s and don’ts when trying to meet that special someone and women get a peek at what men are thinking and insight into their dating behavior – like if they really want to have “the talk”.
“A guy very rarely wants to have that conversation,” said Berkowitz. “As to the timing, it depends. If it’s been three or four months, you might need to address it; if it’s been a couple of weeks, no.”
Berkowitz said there are hints if it will be a yes or a no: “If after three months, he’s talking to you once a week, seeing you once a week, it’s definitely a no.”
Karine Bakhoum has been at the forefront of making chefs big names in the United States since the early 90s (think Chefs Bobby Flay, Ed Brown, and Matthew Kenney). In 2007, she became the only person to have her palate insured by Lloyd’s of London.
“I do a lot of tasting for my clients on every level: does this smell right, taste right? On TV, I taste and critique food. After being sick for two weeks one year with a bad sinus infection, I thought ‘what would happen if I ever lost my taste buds?’”
Her career path stems from her international childhood experience, born in Switzerland to a Coptic Egyptian dad and American mom. “I was always trying new foods and exposed to different cultures, so my palate was very sophisticated from birth. I spent a great deal of time in restaurants with my father, for me it was a very natural environment,” said Bakhoum.
Karine Bakhoum, of KB Network News and judge on "Iron Chef America"
On Tuesday’s panel, Bakhoum will give pointers on cooking for one with tips like what to cook when you’re short on time or tired. “I like to make shrimp; shrimp is fast,” said Bakhoum, who’s now married with two children. “Everything I cook is quick, even stews. They take a long time to simmer but not long to prepare. As a working mother, the hardest meal I ever cook is Thanksgiving dinner.”
Bakhoum said cooking “could be a fun way to love yourself and practice for when you do want to entertain. The biggest challenge as a single is actually taking the time to cook for yourself.”
“It’s so much easier to order in or eat a slice of pizza. I think that’s something that I did. If I didn’t invite someone over, I couldn’t be bothered cooking for myself. You should treat yourself as well, if not better, as you should treat a guest,” said Bakhoum.
If you want to cook for your significant other, don’t hold back in protest of those old gender rules that say it’s the woman’s job to cook. (Okay, maybe that’s just me.)
“I don’t believe that you shouldn’t cook for a guy that you’re dating, it’s not like going to bed with him, why not share food? “ said Bakhoum. “If you love to cook you should share something you love.”
Bakhoum thinks you should enjoy cooking, just as much as you should enjoy being single. “Stay that way as long as you possibly can,” said Bakhoum. “I spent my single time wishing I was married with children. I should have just enjoyed being single and not worried about.”
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