“8 Reasons To Enjoy Your Single Status”
SWR member Debby shared this post she found on Shine - “8 Reasons To Enjoy Your Single Status (For Now) by Erin Meanley.
As I’ve said before,I think the word “single” is problematic. Women, especially, when they enter into a monogamous relationship have the all-too-eager tendency to forget they are still a single woman. (If you’re in a relationship and confused by this, ask yourself, which box do I check on my taxes? Single or Married?) Now, I don’t mean still dating or treating your boo-boo like a stray dog with mange, but I do mean that you should continue to do the things that Meanley says can be enjoyed when you’re not in a relationship, like eating your own diet, traveling, or getting out of the house.
Meanley says:
1. Your diet is your diet.You can eat what you want and chow down precisely when you feel hungry. You do not have to wait for your man to come home from work. You can also watch the movies you want. This is a real plus for me. I watch lame Rom-Coms over and over.
2. You can do errands without the dead weight. I once had a roommate complain that she just wanted someone with whom to run errands on the weekends. I also had a boyfriend who begged me to stick around and watch while he cleaned his closet. Personally, I get antsy when I think I’m boring someone else. Also, I shop, run errands, and do chores much faster without a second voice chiming in.
I don’t know about you, but if I want to eat Ding Dongs and HoHos for dinner, well he better use his two hands and pop some tatter tots in the oven. (Check out what Terry said about women getting stuck with the houseworkwhen they get married.) Being in a relationship does predispose you to doing “couple stuff” like Walmart runs, but you have to make a conscious effort to strike a balance and maintain your me time. Meanley is urging women to take stock of the benefits of not being in a couple and at SWR we urge you to take it one step further. Your sense of self, nor the independent activities you enjoy, should not dissolve because you’re in a relationship. If your identity becomes bound up in being a couple, you are setting yourself up for a serious potential letdown when the relationship ends. (And not to sound like Dr. Doom but everything ends, in some way, at some point. Marriages after 50 years, someone dies. People get divorced. Let’s not disillusion ourselves. Mothers who have wrapped their identity in being a mother, often feel lost when kids leave the nest.)
As time passes, I’m becoming more comfortable with the things that Meanley says “single” people enjoy and I challenge you, and myself, to continue to maintain your individuality and sense of solo purpose when you get on that train to couple city.
