Where has this blog been all my life?
The book that inspired the blog.
Right now I’m reading The Gospel According to Chanel by Karen Korbo (and hope to get around to reviewing it at some point). It mentions The Daily Asker, a blog by a woman who set out to make a habit of asking for things. Apparently, it’s a wildly popular but somehow escaped my notice.
The Asker, who calls herself ‘La Roxy,’ asks for perks, upgrades, two-for-one deals, better seats in restaurants, pay raises, and so on. She got the idea to ask-and-blog after getting to page seven of Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever’s Women Don’t Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation–and Positive Strategies for Change, which maintains that we females leave millions of dollars on the table over the course of our lives because we avoid negotiating. (I think I need to read this book. Check out more stats about how we hurt ourselves by not asking here.)
The Daily Asker’s motto: “It can’t hurt to ask.” On one occasion, she decided to ask random New Yorkers for suggestions for fun things to do in the city. She ended up having a lovely and surprising evening. She asked for the raise and got it. And, for those who would emulate her, she explains the difference between asking and complaining.
La Roxy’s not blogging much lately (she posted most recently on October 5th), but to be fair, she meant the daily asking experiment to last just a year, and she’s already exceeded that. Maybe I’ll leave a comment to suggest she start up again.
It can’t hurt to ask.
A few special stars somewhere lined up today — after weeks of soul searching and contemplating the mission of my blog I happened to check the comments today, came across yours, and was jolted out of my sabbatical.
Thank you for writing your blog. Thank you for stumbling across mine. Thank you for this shout out.
La Roxy
Thank you for writing YOUR blog, La Roxy!
I don’t know how accurate this is, but I’ve read that by the time a woman reaches her career peak, it’s estimated that she makes tens of thousands less than a man in the same position if he was hired at a starting wage just a few thousand higher than hers! I suspect this is because a lot of women either don’t know they can negotiate salary or don’t want to seem “pushy.” I know it didn’t even occur to me that I could do that at my first job, but my boyfriend at the time did it automatically when he applied for a job just a few months later.
A family friend of mine bargains for absolutely everything–cell phone service, new cars, vacation packages, utility contracts, retail merchandise. Nothing and no one is immune, and let me tell you, she always gets the best deals. Some people see her as pushy, but she’s the one laughing all the way to the bank. It really does pay to ask!
I love this blog! I hadn’t heard about it either, but I so stand behind the concept of asking for what you want. Like many women, I have neglected to ask for – and sometimes demand – things that I wanted or felt I deserved. I kicked myself for it later, but instead of dwelling on it, I resolved to not to repeat the same mistakes. I now regularly remind myself to not simply accept someone’s first response, but to measure if it will work for me and if not, negotiate. Bravo to you, La Roxy!