How to deal with fools on Thanksgiving
Turkeys, avian and human, abound.
You look forward to Thanksgiving, and then over dinner, some clod shouts at you from across the table:
“Are you ever going to get married?” or “Are you seeing someone?” or “How’s it going with What’s-His-Name? Is there a ring in your future?”
And you squirm in your seat, struggling for the right answer. Even though you yearn to get up and punch the interrogator in the nose, you take a deep breath. You’d hate to look bitter.
Because you’re not bitter. You’re lovely. You’re fun. You have things going on. You’re an asset to any dinner table. You, after all, are charming.
And you — probably unlike your interrogator, who holds court over his or her turkey smugly wrapped in an obnoxious Christmas sweater — have a life full of possibilities. Your options are open. You haven’t settled for the wrong man just because some clown decreed you must be married to be a fully functioning adult.
And you know the truth: A lot of married people aren’t happy. They did settle for the wrong person, for whatever reason (societal pressure, the desire to have kids).
You won’t be rushed. You’ll get married if and when the time is right.
The best response, then, to one of these questions is to smile charmingly and say, “Why do you ask?”
If your interrogator responds, “Well, you’re not getting any younger,” the proper response is to chuckle and say, “Well, neither are you.”
And be glad you had better taste than to wear a Christmas sweater to Thanksgiving dinner.
