Salon interviewed Lori Gottlieb, the author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.

According to the article by Sarah Hepola:

As in the 2008 Atlantic essay that started it all, Gottlieb’s depiction of single womanhood can be practically monstrous, a misery parade of boring happy hours and appointments with the bikini waxer, nights staring at a phone that won’t ring. She uses her life as a cautionary tale: Make the right choices, little missy, or you could end up like me. As she explains in the book, “I’m trying to help. It’s kind of like those graphic anti-drunk driving public service announcements that show people crashing into poles and getting killed … It’s not until you see people ending up brain-dead, lying in a coma in the hospital and surrounded by beeping monitors, that the message has an impact.”

But Gottlieb, who readily admits she really wants a husband and understands some women just don’t, tells Hepola that her book is less about settling and more about not insisting that a man be perfect. (Note to all humans: Nobody is perfect. Not even me.)

And I can wrap my head around that, for sure. Unfortunately, I’ve met many women (and many men, for that matter) who did settle for a partner who had a loosey-goosey grip on the truth, resisted the idea of fidelity, spent too much time passing gas in front of the TV, and so on.

So I’m not buying into ‘get ‘em while the going’s good.’ Sure, the decent guy you dated in college may be happily married with three kids now, but, if you’re a realistic person, you probably didn’t marry him for a reason. Old boyfriends usually look better in hindsight. Chances are, if you caught up with him for a cup of coffee, you’d remember the quirks that made you doubt you’d ever live happily ever after together.

Take a look at the article and let us know what you think. And if you’ve read the book (we haven’t), we’d love to get your take on it, too.

Check out the joy of "not looking" at www.singleapproachablegirl.com

Single. Approachable. Girl. is a fun blog that “shares the insights and perspectives that come from being single, approachable and “not looking.”  Here’s an excerpt from her latest post:

To date or not to date . . .

…Confusing-Name Guy and I finally came to a head last weekend when it became clear that I was driving him to that edge of dating-insanity that girls are typically credited for. After ignoring a phone call from him at 7:30 PM (I had just arrived to a concert) he followed-up with two long text messages at 10:30 PM (I was still at the concert), expressing his confusion and frustration with my request that we “dial it back” – which you may remember was triggered by his offer to monogamously date after only three dates. Mind you, if a girl were to call a dater and then text him the next day (let alone three hours later)…

Check out Single. Approachable. Girl. at http://www.singleapproachablegirl.com/

Sticking Your Neck Out: Discover the Top 7 Ways to Reach Your Peak Performance
By Nikki Stone
Author of When Turtles Fly: Secrets of Successful People Who Know How To Stick Their Necks Out

As a motivational speaker for Fortune 500 companies and an Olympic gold medalist, I have seen what makes an individual most successful in the boardroom and on the slopes. Over the last five years, I have researched the similarities of forty different highly-successful individuals — including the likes of Tommy Hilfiger, Prince Albert of Monaco, Dr. Stephen Covey, Shaun White and many more. And no matter the field or endeavor, I have found The Turtle Effect philosophy at the core of everyone’s success. 

This philosophy was taught to me by my mother, who told me that I could achieve anything I wanted. I always held it close and adapted it to every situation I encountered. I’d like to help people breathe in this confidence and share the secrets that are common to those at the top of their given field. 

1. Have a Soft Inside – let your heart drive your actions

Find Your Passion: Do the things you hate first so you can truly get pleasure from the parts of your job and day that you are most passionate about.  First thing in the morning write down five things you don’t like to do. Do each before 11:00 a.m., and check off that you’ve done them. Doing the thing you hate most will allow you to spend the rest of the day or week focusing on the things you enjoy the most.

2. Develop Your Hard Shell – stay strong against life’s challenges

Enhance Your Focus: Try to complete a task or project today as well as you can — without looking at others for approval. Can you bring something to fruition without worrying about the outcome?  If you do feel you have to see your “results”, compare them to your own past efforts rather than to what someone else has achieved.

Be Committed: Either give yourself a challenge or challenge a colleague, teammate or friend to decide on a certain goal with you. Write the challenge down on an index card and tape it to the wall to remind yourself of your goal. This commitment will make you accountable to your goals and responsible for your actions.

Overcoming Adversities: Ask yourself, “If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I try?” After you answer this question, ask yourself why it would be so awful to fail at the task or activity. We learn much more from our failures than we learn from our accomplishments.

3. Be Willing to Stick Your Neck Out – put yourself out there and find the support to make sure you follow through

Build Your Confidence: We all have our strong points and we need to remind ourselves of these attributes. Create a list today of all the personal traits that give you confidence. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and knowing your strengths will help you compensate for your shortcomings.

Start Taking Risks: We can’t be afraid of failure. If you don’t try, you have already failed. Why not give yourself the chance to succeed? Pick something that scares you a bit, and decide you are going to take the risk to follow through with it today.

Find Your Teamwork: A support system is crucial in helping you develop a strong character. Go out today and ask a few close friends how they would describe you. If they define you only in terms of your accomplishments, take the time to show them who you are in terms of your relationships. Think about the things you may be doing to project a title rather than a personality, and correct that.

I find that the same factors work to put someone at the top of their game, whether you are a triumphant athlete, Fortune 500 CEO, an accomplished politician, successful educator, or even an effective parent. 

I hope these tips help you find your Turtle Effect and encourage you to strive for levels once thought impossible.

©2010 Nikki Stone, author of When Turtles Fly: Secrets of Successful People Who Know How To Stick Their Necks Out

Author Bio
At the Olympic Winter Games in Nagano, Japan, Nikki Stone became America’s first-ever Olympic champion in the sport of aerial skiing. What made this performance so unbelievable was the fact that, less than two years earlier, a chronic spinal injury prevented her from standing, much less walking or skiing off a twelve-foot-tall snow jump that launches aerialists fifty feet into the air. She overcame the injury and went on to earn 35 World Cup medals, 11 World Cup titles, 4 national titles, 3 World Cup titles, a World Championship title, and membership in the Ski Hall of Fame. Nikki is also a magna cum laude graduate of Union College and a summa cum laude masters graduate of the University of Utah. Her aerial retirement is less than restful as she trains Olympic athletes and business professionals in speaking/media skills, coaches personal and professional development courses, hosts group skiing adventures, sits on five different charitable committees, and writes articles and columns for many magazines, newspapers, and websites. Nikki’s career focus is now on traveling around the world working as a sought-after motivational speaker, sharing her secrets to success by inspiring her business audiences to “Stick their necks out.” Every spare moment is spent with husband, Michael Spencer, and daughter, Zali, in Park City, Utah. 

Nikki is the author of When Turtles Fly: Secrets of Successful People Who Know How To Stick Their Necks Out. For more information, please visit www.WhenTurtlesFly.com.

SWR member Debby shared this post she found on Shine - “8 Reasons To Enjoy Your Single Status (For Now) by Erin Meanley.

As I’ve said before,I think the word “single” is problematic.  Women, especially, when they enter into a monogamous relationship have the all-too-eager tendency to forget they are still a single woman.  (If you’re in a relationship and confused by this, ask yourself, which box do I check on my taxes? Single or Married?) Now, I don’t mean still dating or treating your boo-boo like a stray dog with mange, but I do mean that you should continue to do the things that Meanley says can be enjoyed when you’re not in a relationship, like eating your own diet, traveling, or getting out of the house.

Meanley says:

1. Your diet is your diet.You can eat what you want and chow down precisely when you feel hungry. You do not have to wait for your man to come home from work. You can also watch the movies you want. This is a real plus for me. I watch lame Rom-Coms over and over.

2. You can do errands without the dead weight. I once had a roommate complain that she just wanted someone with whom to run errands on the weekends. I also had a boyfriend who begged me to stick around and watch while he cleaned his closet. Personally, I get antsy when I think I’m boring someone else. Also, I shop, run errands, and do chores much faster without a second voice chiming in.

I don’t know about you, but if I want to eat Ding Dongs and HoHos for dinner, well he better use his two hands and pop some tatter tots in the oven.  (Check out what Terry said about women getting stuck with the houseworkwhen they get married.) Being in a relationship does predispose you to doing “couple stuff” like Walmart runs, but you have to make a conscious effort to strike a balance and maintain your me time.  Meanley is urging women to take stock of the benefits of not being in a couple and at SWR we urge you to take it one step further.  Your sense of self, nor the independent activities you enjoy, should not dissolve because you’re in a relationship.  If your identity becomes bound up in being a couple, you are setting yourself up for a serious potential letdown when the relationship ends.  (And not to sound like Dr. Doom but everything ends, in some way, at some point.  Marriages after 50 years, someone dies.  People get divorced.  Let’s not disillusion ourselves.  Mothers who have wrapped their identity in being a mother, often feel lost when kids leave the nest.)

As time passes, I’m becoming more comfortable with the things that Meanley says “single” people enjoy and I challenge you, and myself, to continue to maintain your individuality and sense of solo purpose when you get on that train to couple city.

Keysha recently posted about the value of doing affirmations. I’ve had great success using them in in finding the right relationship, and also to find a house in a neighborhood I dreamed about but didn’t think existed. Long ago, I used them to get a job in a highly competitive industry.

Of course, as Keysha mentioned, the trick is to do them (write them, speak them, sing them, whatever) and to keep doing them. You can feel like a big fat fool sitting around writing affirmations when you don’t have a job, for instance, or when you stubbed your toe and even the dog is giving you the cold shoulder. But keep on keeping on.

When you’re writing affirmations, it really helps to be feeling good. For me, that means turning off Morning Joe, where the panelists mean well, but they’re always talking about life going to hell in a handbasket. Face it; most TV is depressing. Turn it off.

Instead, turn on music that turns you on. Turn it up loud. Take a few extremely deep breaths; fill your lungs to capacity. Say a prayer (not a desperate, pleading, begging prayer. Make a simple request for grace and calm; accept it and allow it to evaporate all bad feelings). Shake off the troubles of the day. When you feel your spirit lifting, start doing those affirmations.

For continued motivation, excitement, and inspiration, turn to a good book about the power of faith, affirmation, and the Law of Attraction.  Skeptics claim that The Secret is hogwash; it’s not, but it may not be presented in a way that’s helpful to you. If you’re a Christian, check out Norman Vincent Peale’s Positive Imaging. Shakti Gawain’s Creative Visualization will appeal to people of all backgrounds, and it’s written simply and accessibly. I’m a big fan of anything by Florence Scovel Shinn or Claude Bristol, as well.

When you use an affirmation, you’re impressing your subconscious with your intention. You may have heard about how Jim Carrey, a man who once lived in his car, intended to make twenty million dollars and wrote himself a check for “for services rendered.” He visualized himself owning a spectacular house in California.

Well, you know how that turned out. To hear Jim Carrey discuss the power of intention, click here.

I like Solange and I like Beyonce and I like champagne.  Put them all together for a good cause, I’m a happy camper.   Plus, I have to respect the drive of Solange Knowles.  I like the sound of her latest release Sol-Angel and the Hadley Street Dreams plus I was super pumped when she bucked the system and cut off her damn hair. Many folks try to peg her as the underdog to Beyonce’s astronomical fame (and several years ago, I was one of them), but Solange, bouncing back from a young marriage and divorce, keeps re-inventing herself and I think she’s finally found her groove.  At SWR, we want you to find your groove too - to revel in life’s magic and feel truly fulfilled, whether the knight in shining (or newly refurbished) armor ever arrives.

Armand de Brignac (Ace of Spades) teamed up with Solange for the “Relief for Haiti Edition” party to raise funds for those in need in NYC on Tuesday. The event was attended by notables including Jay-Z, Beyonce, Michelle Williams, Andre Harrell, Steve Stoute, and Daniel Merriweather. Solange deejayed as guests enjoyed some of the #1 Champagne in the world. A magnum sized bottle of Ace of Spades was signed by all celebrities in attendance and will be auctioned off with all proceeds going to help Haiti .

All photos courtesy of Armad de Brignac.

Andre Harrell, Uptown Records founder, credited with launching the careers of Sean Combs (Diddy, P.Diddy -I can't keep up) and Mary J. Blige

Singer Daniel Merriweather.

Jay-Z autographed bottle of Armand de Brignac that will be auctioned for Haiti relief.

Solange dj'd the event.

Solange and Beyonce Knowles.

If you’re a social media butterfly, here’s an article that outlines a few financial pitfalls you might encounter if you run rampant on sites like Facebook and Twitter.  I have a like-hate relationship with Facebook.  I just get sooooooo sick of hearing people’s tiny daily details.  I don’t care if you’ve got on new socks or your kid spilled milk on your car seat.  I’ve gotten so disgusted with social media, I deleted my Facebook account on two occasions.  Guess what?  They never delete your information.  They store it so when you come back (and you will come back *evil laugh*), you can just sign in and pick up where you’ve left off.  Joy.

Many folks have lost or almost jobs, benefits, lawsuits, not to mention relationships and in this article Bankrate.com tackles three dangers related to employment, scams, and debt collection.  About employment, the author says:

Even employees who think their jobs are safe can sabotage themselves by being too honest online about their personal lives, or by posting feelings regarding a boss, client, co-worker or company for whom they work.

“We’ve seen a lot of cases of people publishing status updates that have gotten them in trouble,” says Justin Smith, founder and editor in chief of Inside Facebook. ”People have said things that have caused problems with their boss because of what they said about their work or because they’ve shared some other kind of private information about work online.”

Caroline McCarthy, a staff writer at CNET News, says the best defense against such mistakes is to use plain old common sense. Remember, anything that appears on the Web is just a screenshot away from spreading quickly, despite the best efforts of social media users to keep it private.

Facebook does have its uses, like promoting SingleWomenRule.com and connecting with cool folks like you!  Join our FANPAGE on SWR or send me a friend request with an SWR message so I know it’s you!

SingleWomenRule.com Promote Your Page Too

Keysha Whitaker Create Your Badge

Teen pregnancy rates in the United States are up for the first time in years. The New York Times attributed this sad finding to a study by the Guttmacher Institute, a nonpartisan nonprofit research group:

While teenage pregnancy rates for whites remain far lower than for blacks and Hispanics, the pregnancy rates increased for all three groups.

As previously reported, births to young women ages 15 to 19 — a statistic that is available more quickly than pregnancy and abortion data — rose from 2005 to 2006, and again from 2006 to 2007.

Since the teenage pregnancy rate is made up of births, abortions and miscarriages, it is likely that the teenage pregnancy rate rose from 2006 to 2007, as well.

The Guttmacher Institute blames abstinence-only programs for this scary trend. Teens are less likely to use contraception now that over a billion dollars has been spent on telling them not to have sex. Teen abortions are up by one percent.

On Tuesday’s The View, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, missing the point, proclaimed that we can reverse the pregnancy rate by telling girls to say no. Once a girl has had sex, she said, the girl perceives herself as “a girl who has sex,” but she should know that she still has the right to say no.

But, Elisabeth and other promoters of the GIRLS MUST SAY NO solution to teen pregnancy don’t take into account that girls, like boys, are highly sexual beings. It’s hard enough for a girl to deny her own inclinations, yet we expect her to do that and take responsibility for her boyfriend’s, as well.

So, here’s an idea: Why don’t we teach our sons to say no? Teach them from a very early age that sex is special and meant to be shared with only another very special person? In other words, what would happen if we raised our sons to “respect themselves” and “not give their bodies away,” the way we raise our daughters?

What if we raise our daughters to view boys who sleep around as “cheap” and “not the kind of fellow you bring home to mother,” instead of playboys, playas, and ladies’ men?

Girls are subject to the same temptations as boys. Sex is not a boy’s thing that a girl gives into because she wants to be loved, or because she suffers from low-self-esteem. Sometimes she needs someone to stop her before things get out of hand. Let’s lose the ‘boys will be boys’ mentality and help a girl out.

Last year, I reviewed a new green kitty litter and the good folks at World’s Best Cat Litter challenged me to give their all-natural cat litter a scoop.

This product lives up to its name as World's Best Cat Litter. Above center, the new look of World's Best Cat Litter.

The result is World’s Best Cat Litter™, the ONLY litter with a patented formula that harnesses the microporous power of whole-kernel corn to control odor better, absorb moisture faster, clump tighter, and last longer than all other litters—while providing a 100% renewable, 100% biodegradable cat litter that is pet, people, and planet safe.

After all, when it comes to controlling cat odor, there’s no such thing as “good enough.” With a patented odor-control and clumping formula, World’s Best Cat Litter™ is scientifically proven to deliver:

- Unsurpassed odor control
- Compact clumping on contact
- Long-lasting use
- 100% natural and safe solution for pets, people, and our planet

Since 1998, there’s been nothing else on the market like it. With HIGHLY SUPERIOR PERFORMANCE, proven benefits, and 100% all-natural ingredients, World’s Best Cat Litter™ is the only litter that can call itself “the best.”

Let’s see how it stacks up to its claims.

Unsurpassed odor control
Whatever scientific corn stuff they did works. The corn fibers definitely do trap odors. I noticed because it immediately traps the odors, woe to your nose when you scoop the box. If you don’t mind holding your nose for a few seconds, I guess that’s better than having the odors seep out into your home at other times. The litter is unscented and I think consumers (me included) are accustomed to “scented” products, so that might take some getting used to.  On the flip side, I think no scent means less chemicals, so pick your poison.

Compact clumping on contact
No pee clumps sticking to the bottom of the litter pan! The clumping power is pretty amazing. Plus, the clumps don’t break apart when you scoop them.

Long Lasting Use
I used a 7lb bag of the Multiple Cat Clumping Formula for one very poopy kitty and it lasted three weeks. If I’d had a couple more pounds, it would have lasted the month. So I’d suggest buying the 17lb bag.

100% natural and safe solution for pets, people, and our planet
Even though it’s made of corn fibers, it resembles clay litter but the similarities stop there. There’s no dustiness. I did notice that a few of the corn fibers were stuck to kitty’s hind legs and had to wipe her with a baby wipe. Maybe the clumping action is so strong, it clumps on cat hair, or maybe she was doing sloppy business. The litter is flushable (except in the State of California) but I was afraid to flush it.

Versus Arm & Hammers Essentials, the World’s Best Cat Litter wins in the categories of odor control and clumping power, but loses in the long lasting category (at least for a 7lb bag), and wins in the category of an overall best solution because it’s flushable. With three out of four, I declare World’s Best Cat Litter definitely lives up to its name.

The World’s Best Cat Litter is available at Petco and Petsmart, or use their online search tool to find retailers.  To learn more, visit www.worldsbestcatlitter.com.

Photo: Equality Now

An article in Salon about girls suffering genital mutilation set my hair on fire. (Genital mutilation is a euphemism for several grisly procedures, often performed with unsterile instruments and without anesthesia.) Turns out, female genital mutilation  — or FGM –doesn’t just happen in other countries. It’s happening here. In the United States.

The Salon piece, written by Lynn Harris, offers this sobering information:

“Yes, FGM is practiced — or at least planned — on U.S. soil, on girls in immigrant families who were born and/or raised here. Perhaps even among people you know: Not long ago, a concerned mother posted on my Brooklyn-area parenting list-serv that she believed an eight-year-old friend of her daughter’s had undergone some form of the procedure in her home country in the Middle East (and appeared to be markedly traumatized). Archana Pyati, an asylum attorney for Sanctuary for Families in New York, has encountered dozens of FGM cases just in the past six months. ‘The majority of our African clients have been through it, and most often, they are fighting to protect their daughters,’ she says. (Older relatives with ’seniority’ often push for the procedure.) ‘It is our hope that by recognizing that FGM may be occurring under our noses we will become better able to respond to it, just as we would any other form of violence against children,’ she says.”

Check out the rest of the piece here. Violence, oppression, and being sold into sexual slavery are just some of the commonplace horrors women all over the world face, and we can help stop it. We can donate money to Equality Now. Even better, we can take part in one of their letter writing campaigns  to help females who don’t have it as good as we do.

If you write it, it will come.

Affirmations. That’s a bunch of hokey pokey bullshit.

Or is it?

An affirmation is a statement that expresses – or affirms – your intent to create a desired change in your life, either personally or professionally. Many great teachers (like Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Susan Jeffers, Louise Hay) swear by the power of affirmations. When I first started Single Women Rule, back in February 2005, it was called EVE’s Society. EVE is an acronym for Energy, Virtue, and Excellence. I created three statements I wanted the members of EVE’s Society to repeat daily to change their lives:

I approach my career and life goals with Energy.
I maintain Virtue in all my relationships.
I strive for Excellence in all my daily activities.

I didn’t know it then but the statements were “affirmations” – a term I became familiar with in November of 2006 at T. Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind Intensive Conference. T. Harv used affirmations to change his money blueprint – his habitual and learned thinking on success and wealth – and become one of the highest paid motivational speakers today. That’s when I began my grand tour through the self-help aisle - The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra – each author stressed the importance and power of writing and speaking your intentions on a daily basis.

The only problem with affirmations is that you have to do them. Science tells us it takes at least 30 days to create a habit or break one, 30 days for our brain to adopt new thinking patterns. I couldn’t get past day five.

The next year, I met Terry Hernon MacDonald. She ran a bi-weekly women’s business networking group that still meets in Shelton, CT. I read her e-book, How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams. Terry used affirmations to change her mind set about herself and the love she wanted, ultimately attracting her husband. I partnered with Terry to form SingleWomenRule.com because her message of changing your life by changing the way you think was my vision to empower unmarried women through EVE’s Society.

But I still couldn’t get past day five.

A few weeks ago, I met a friend for lunch and we lamented watching our dreams fade faster than a spray-on tan. Maybe we just didn’t want it bad enough? Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be? Why was the success we wanted eluding us while other folks, no smarter, prettier, fatter, or skinnier than us, enjoyed it? Read more »

I came across a fascinating article in The Daily Beast this morning about a phenomenon a priest mentioned last summer. He said he wouldn’t have to alter his weekend Mass schedule to accommodate weddings because they’re just weren’t enough weddings to warrant it.

“Nobody wants to commit,’ he lamented.

The Beast’s Hannah Seligson writes:

“The median age for a first marriage in the United States is the highest it’s ever been—27.1 for a man and 25.3 for a woman—and it skews even higher in many cities, giving way to more years of dating before marriage. In fact, 23 million adults are in unmarried committed relationships. Over 12 million unmarried partners live together, a trend that is being exhibited in a large part by the 25-to-34-year-old demo.

‘Dating is not what it was 50 years ago. Dating is evolving into this gradual process of moving in. It involves nights spent over at one or the other’s place. There’s the toothbrush, then a few items of clothing. All of a sudden, they realize they’ve moved in,’ says Pamela Smock, a sociologist at the University of Michigan who studies cohabitation.”

 Seligson thinks she knows why singles don’t perceive marriage as the great deal it once seemed to be. Check out her article here (and then come back and tell us what you think).

Haitian immigrants come to the United States to make a better life for themselves and their children. Now their children - who have not forgotten home - are giving back to countless numbers of Haitians affected by the massive earthquake on January 12.

Michael Esposito, a board member of Forgotten Children of Haiti, a non-profit organization founded by his Haitian mother and Italian father in 1993, met Haitian-born artist Guy Stanley Philoche at a January 13 meeting of New York City professionals who wanted to help send relief to Haiti.

Artist Guy Stanley Philoche

“It was a meeting of young Haitians who wanted to find a way to help and go through grassroots organizations. We were lucky enough to be there,” said Esposito. “We are a non-profit volunteer-only organization. No one is on the books; every person is a volunteer. The money doesn’t go to fund anything but Haiti.”

FCH had donation centers in Queens and Long Island but not in Manhattan. Philoche recognized their need and after vetting the organization, on January 14 he rented a UHAUL and parked it in front of his studio on the Upper East Side to accept donations on behalf of Forgotten Children of Haiti.

“Guy came in like a whirlwind,” said Esposito. “He feels our organization helps Haiti the way he would like to see Haiti helped.”

Philoche said, “A lot of people want to donate to bigger charities, and that’s good, but the Forgotten Children of Haiti, they are not one of those charities that send money and then that’s it.”

Most of FCH’s funding supports schools and orphanages. Prior to the earthquake, there were almost 400,000 orphans in Haiti. One school that FCH has supported since its inception, Le’cole Bel-Air in Port-au-Prince, collapsed in the earthquake. Esposito’s mother and aunt graduated from Le’cole Bel-Air which housed over 750 girls and 11 nuns. All of the nuns perished and it is unconfirmed how many students died.

“Ironically, at the time, my mom had received a package of letters and pictures of the girls saying how well they were doing and thanking us for everything that we had done for them,” said Esposito during an emotional pause. “We had been supporting the school for years. The meals the students receive at the school are sometimes the only meals they receive all day. Bel-Air is kind of like our school, if we didn’t give them money every year, they didn’t run.”

Students at a Haitian school funded by Forgotten Children of Haiti eat what might have been their only warm meals of the day. The school collapsed in the earthquake and the students locations are unconfirmed.

In addition to raising funds for schools and orphanages that service the children of Haiti, FCH has flown two children to New York, for physical therapy and heart surgery at North Shore Hospital, according to the website. Esposito’s uncle is Dr. Thierry Duchatellier, the chief cardiologist at Mercy Hospital in Long Island. Also an FCH Board Member, Duchatellier flew to the Dominican Republic this morning to make his way to Haiti to provide medical help.

Forgotten Children of Haiti also sponsors an Adopt-A-Drum Campaign. The organization ships 55-gallon drums of supplies to Haiti. A drum costs $35 to pack but $100 to ship, and FCH solicits donations to sponsor a complete drum for $135. On their last drop, FCH shipped 15 drums to Haiti. Once in Haiti, the drums are received by local affiliates to ensure the safe transport to the schools and orphanages. Read more »

It amazes me that in 2010, women who marry still find themselves responsible for most of the domestic drudgery. Check out this sad article by Ann Friedman in The American Prospect.

I have a theory that if more women demanded a better deal, they’d get it (and, by the way, it also bugs the hell out of me that married women’s first names usually appear after their husbands’ on Christmas cards, but since women write the damn things , we have nobody to blame but ourselves).

I’m all for getting married, if that’s what we want, and as long as we’re not caving into society’s low expectations for us. If marriage is on your mind, read this article and decide what you’re willing to put up with and what you’re not.